She is tired of running after making money, he is tired of running after relationships, tired of running after competitions and then fell down and realised that they couldn’t go on any more. Seen and bearing an overwhelming burden of troubles and responsibility. They have already seen it all, can do it all and want nothing except to rest in peace.
And then they suddenly start to see life in a different way. It often happens against a background of too much work, of feeling completely run-down and experiencing ridiculous levels of stress. When you’ve ended up in a hospital, you end up understand a thing or two about life.
Tired people, bit by bit, are the ones who manage to change everything, and change themselves. They learn to live again, managing to subjugate their circumstances to themselves, their own needs and requirements, their desires, and their biological clock. They take full control of their life by not trusting the moods and decisions of their employers. They they take up watercolour painting and read lots of books; they learn to cook; they go for walks in a park and play with their kids. They learn how to just breathe again, having understood that having enough money for just one handbag, as it turns out, is quite enough.
They learn to live here and now, enjoying every minute.
This is why for quite a long time already we’ve had such terms as ’downshifting’ and anti-consumerist societies; this is why freelancing and spending winters in huts in India is so popular.
Success. This definition of it, the whole idea of it, is arguably one of the biggest lies we ever get told in our lives.
None of this stuff is important.
But the only people who can realise it are the people who are deeply tired of life, for whom nothing matters as much as peace of mind. The chance to not have to run anywhere, not to prove anything to anybody. To live, rather than just survive till the end.
Avoid the “I Just Need To Work Harder” Trap
If you tend to react to stress, struggling, or exhaustion by attempting to just work harder, try slowing down instead.
As above, you’re likely already trying your best. Telling yourself that the answer to solving your problems is just working harder isn’t likely to be an accurate thought.
The trap here is that by telling yourself the problem is not working hard enough, you’re likely to close yourself off to trying new ways of coping. An example I see in my practice all the time is people who respond to overeating by telling themselves they just need to try harder to stick to their diet next time. By attributing the problem to not trying hard enough, they try to solve it throughwillpower rather than seeking other strategies.