Lost

Life is painful and messed up. Being alone with my own feelings, feelings who are dancing in mind.  It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.

There was a time, I wanted to disappear. To get so lost that nobody ever found me. To go so far away that I’d never be able to make my way home again. But I have no idea why.

The answer is within me. Most of my life was in autopilot control. When I start taking control of my life for long periods, I feel like imprisoned in my own home. All I need is have a passion!

 

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Refuse to be Stagnant

The point is to keep trying new things, meeting new people, visiting new places. Once you settle into a rut, no matter how fun that rut may seem, you stagnate. You might as well be dead.

The poor man retains the prejudices of his forefathers without their faith, and their ignorance without their virtues; he has adopted the doctrine of self-interest as the rule of his actions, without understanding the science which puts it to use; and his selfishness is no less blind than was formerly his devotedness to others. If society is tranquil, it is not because it is conscious of its strength and its well-being, but because it fears its weakness and its infirmities; a single effort may cost it its life. Everybody feels the evil, but no one has courage or energy enough to seek the cure. The desires, the repinings, the sorrows, and the joys of the present time lead to no visible or permanent result, like the passions of old men, which terminate in impotence.

Entire careers, entire life paths, are carved out by people dipping their baby toes into small ponds and suddenly discovering a love for something they had no idea would capture their imaginations. In my situation I have cracked MBA entrance,  then there for many years as a HR which couldn’t feed my craving spiritualism or creativity. At some point of my life, I found myself stucked in some area – morally, intellectually, physically, spiritually, creatively. The term creativity itself a spirituality (which is a different topic to discuss next). I tried writing on spiritual journals to motivational speech to Yoga teaching to Story telling and finally making films. My present career status is : I AM A DOER. I am freelancer, an tiny winny entrepreneur, a writer, yoga and motivational speaker and a filmmaker. May be few years later I would like to try something new again. I will keep evolving. And this is how I literally live everyday.  But this journey which was not so easy, not so easy to survive in this materialistic world, sometimes not even rational too. I  Life is dynamic. It is not static. All living things are either growing and increasing toward maturity, or deteriorating toward decay and death. So how about you — are you growing?

How do I know that I am in a Stagnation. These are the most significant signs :

  • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
  • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
  • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
  • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
  • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
  • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

Dr. Chanter, in his brilliant History of Human Thought in the Twentieth Century, has made the suggestion that only a very small proportion of people are capable of acquiring new ideas of political or social behaviour after they are twenty-five years old. On the other hand, few people become directive in these matters until they are between forty and fifty. Then they prevail for twenty years or more. The conduct of public affairs therefore is necessarily twenty years or more behind the living thought of the times. This is what Dr. Chanter calls the “delayed
realisation of ideas.

In summary, here’s a list of things I try to remind myself whenever I’m faced with trying something new:

  1. Trying something new often requires courage. And needing to summon courage is itself a benefit. Once it’s released it will, like its second cousin once removed, anger, indiscriminately engulf everything in its path. How wonderful to open a flood of courage and be carried on its waves to destinations of unexpected benefit.
  2. Trying something new opens up the possibility for you to enjoy something new. Entire careers, entire life paths, are carved out by people dipping their baby toes into small ponds and suddenly discovering a love for something they had no idea would capture their imaginations.
  3. Trying something new keeps you from becoming bored. Even I, the most routine-loving person I know, become bored if I’m not continually challenged in some way. And it’s not the new challenges I’m eager to take on that represent my greatest opportunities for growth—it’s the ones I’m not.
  4. Trying something new forces you to grow. We don’t ever grow from taking action we’ve always taken (the growth that enabled us to be able to take it has already occurred). Growth seems to require we take new action first, whether it’s adopting a new attitude or a new way of thinking, or literally  taking new action. Thrusting yourself into new situations and leaving yourself there alone, so to speak, often forces beneficial change. A spirit of constant self-challenge keeps you humble and open to new ideas that very well may be better than the ones you currently hold dear (this happens to me all the time).

Accepting the hard truth “The Perfect Partner Doesn’t Exist” makes life easier.

Many people dream of the perfect romance and a partner that will sweep us off of our feet and into the sunset of an eternally happy ever after. In fact, most of us are probably guilty of daydreaming about our “perfect match” sometimes. But how can it affect our real relationships when our partners don’t meet our picture perfect dreams? This doesn’t mean we should settle for someone we’re miserable with, but it does mean that we should always expect to put work into a relationship. Think of it as an artistic masterpiece; you and your partner are the tools and you have to work together to make the canvas beautiful. We can be happy and fulfilled in a relationship, but not if we expect the canvas to paint itself!

What are we Striving for?

“What we Strive for is, What we’re not. Look at An Apple tree which strives to be a full fledged Apple tree, bears leaves, tries to be a fully grown Apple tree and bears gift of Apple fruits. An Apple Tree Doesn’t strive to be a Mango Tree. Every Creatures Likewise tries to be full of what they’re. Only We Human Don’t know how to fully strive to being Human” – Keya

Your Career shouldn’t be the Purpose of your life. A Person Wants to be a Doctor or an  Engineer, Scientist or  Musician, Writer or a Poet. And once the person reaches his Goal he must be striving to make more money or higher Status.

For an Example :Doctors, on average, are also paid well, and have positions of high status. A sign of living happily. You’re Perfect Now. But, in essence Excellence is the very opposite of PerfectionismPerfectionism is losing your true self in the demands of society, and trying to emulate a person who is not you and whom you can never become. Excellence, on the other hand, is becoming the centre of your own universe, and from that grounded, centred position, shining your light into the world by using your unique talents.

I’ve found Six Practises to implement to strive Full Human. These are:

  1.  Accept The Hardship: All life demands struggle, including an Earthworm, a bird, King of Jungle Lion to an Ant. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of life. The very striving and hard work that we so constantly try to avoid is the major building block in the person to become full fledged Human.
  2.  Someone will Always Have More Than You: It doesn’t matter what I achieve in life, someone, somewhere will always have more than we do. Someone will always be smarter, stronger, and will have more money.  The minute you figure that out, you will be a happier person.
  3. Everything Happens For a Reason:  This is a hard one for me too. It is a hard one for anyone really.  No one really knows why things happen.  I have to believe it is all part of a bigger plan.  Why do people get sick?  Why do people die?  Why do relationships end?  Why are we here?  Why are we dealt a bad hand?  Truthfully, only one person can answer that question.  Breathe.  Enjoy life.
  4. Trying to Control The Uncontrollable: I am an anxious person.  I am always trying to find out how I can control a situation.  You know, I can’t.  It is going to happen regardless.  If I have sleepless nights over losing a job because of a bad economy, then I have wasted energy.   If you are religious/Spiritual, you will trust that things will just have a way of working themselves out.
  5. Treating Every Day Like It is Your Last:  The one thing that is certain in this life is that we will  Embrace every moment.  Treasure friendships that are meaningful.  Spend time with the ones that mean the most to you.   Do things that this wonderful world has to offer.  Your judgement day will come one day. It may come sooner than you think 🙂
  6.  Showing Compassion: When they make mistakes or hurt you. Instead, try to put yourself in their shoes, and think…

“Excellence” is the gradual result of always striving to do better.

 

 

 

 

 

Sex without love

“It’s like fast food…Satisfies a craving, but doesn’t nourish”

An old Irish proverb says it all~
“Sex with love is one of the finest and truly great experiences in life.”

It may be  thrilling, explorative, and physical.
But there is no deep spiritual soul-connecting thing underneath.

Is it Healthy? 

Not everyone can adopt this point of view— particularly women. When the mind connects sex with intimacy and emotions, it becomes very hard to separate. If a person does not find sex without love fulfilling or gratifying, then it’s better to abstain from such relationships.

It’s not healthy to use sex for means other than physical gratification, like the expectation that it will blossom into love. Sex should likewise not be used for attention or as leverage in a relationship to gain something else.

If people use sex as a form of escapism, it’s no different than being addicted to other behaviors(Rape/Child sexual abuse/manipulation/Prostitution).

Using sex to avoid dealing with pain or loneliness can only bring on more of the same.

Basically, if purely sexual relationships are not personally satisfying, then it’s not healthy for you to engage in these types of relationships.

Is it Optimal?

Sex without love seems to be connected to the physical world alone, which is only a small part of what is available to us. Sex with love is experienced at the core of people, where their innate health resides – apart from the personal thoughts, insecurities and beliefs, we are all so capable of, which will only cover up, but can never obliterate our healthy core. Like the sun behind clouds – it’s always there, it just gets covered up at times; but it’s only temporary.

The hope is that those who have experienced sex with love will provide examples for those who have not. It seems to me that the more people in touch with their spiritual essence, the better the world will be.

If you’re trying to figure out what kind of person you are when it comes to sex, then here are some questions you should start asking yourself.

Q. How were you raised?

Q. What is your religious or spiritual belief?

Q. How do feel after an one night stand?  Empty?

Q. What are your ratio of sex to love?

Q. Can you be in love without sex?

Q. Do you think it’s worth?

Q. How monogamous you are?