Why do some people change their mind so Fast

What happened! I was happy moments ago


You were feeling good or at least not feeling bad then suddenly and without prior notices your mood changed completely. Did that ever happen to you?

Those kinds of mood swings are so common that its impossible for a normal human being not to experience them. For the first instance those mood swings might seem like a mysterious event because they can’t be explained but when you learn how to analyze what’s going on you will no wonder. If you  consciously monitor the thoughts that fly in your mind for they can provide a clue on most of the emotional changes you experience.


why do my emotions change so fast

There are three main factors that interact together to change your mood at any given time, here they are:

  • 1) External data: You were on your way home feeling good then suddenly saw something that reminded you of the 50,000 INR you have to pay in a week and so you felt a bit worse. Each day you receive millions of bits of information through your different senses. Some of these bits can’t just spoil your day but they can make you feel horrible if you didn’t interpret them correctly and this takes us to the next point
  • 2) The meaning you give to the data: If in the previous example you said to yourself something like “I will invest those 50000 INR  and get 70,000 INR in return few month later” then this piece of information won’t make you feel bad but on the contrary it will make you feel better. In other words, what’s more important than the data you are receiving is the meaning you give to it
  • 3) Thoughts that come from within: Sometimes a flying thought just passes by into your head even if nothing in the external world reminded you of it. Those are sometimes called automatic negative thoughts. Such negative thoughts come from within because of the existence of negative beliefs. Just like rotten food emits a bad smell your negative beliefs result in so many negative thoughts

How can these mood swings be stopped?

Just as you saw a combination of those 3 factors can change your mood from total happiness to extreme sadness in just few minutes. In order to prevent those factors from ruining your mood you must stick to the following tips whenever possible:

  • 1) Learn to think consciously: Many of the negative thoughts visit you while you are consciously focused on something else. In other words, in so many cases you might not even notice the thought that triggered the mood change and thus end up feeling bad without knowing why. The first step in preventing those mood changes is to keep an eye on the thoughts that pass through your mind
  • 2) How to handle a negative thought: Once you get a negative thought and become aware of it you need to handle it properly because if you didn’t it will be added to the pile of negative thoughts and ruin your mood. The best way to handle those thoughts is to write them down then consciously think of possible ways of ending the problems causing them. Lets suppose you felt bad because you discovered that you have gained weight recently. In such a way unless you take a vow to exercise or reduce your food intake then your mood will change to the worse
  • 3) Get rid of the negative beliefs: The presence of one negative belief can release hundreds of negative thoughts per day! Now how many negative beliefs do you have? Did you try to deal with them? Do you have a plan to change them? Even if the external environment didn’t send you unpleasant reminders your negative beliefs can still ruin your mood as a result of the negative thoughts they emit

Why Some People are Highly Competitive

PC: Bob Schittereff

Competitiveness and testosterone:

Some behaviors cannot be explained in the light of simple seasons for usually more than one reason can come together to result in such behaviours. Competitiveness is one of the psychological traits that can be caused by more than one reason.

While a male with higher testosterone levels should be more competitive than a male with lower levels of testosterone still other environmental factors could make the later much more competitive than the first one.

Yes hormones have a powerful impact on humans but if the environmental factors were strong enough they could actually make a person develop totally different personality traits.

Why are some people highly competitive

A very ambitious person is very likely to be very competitive. An ambitious person would always want to have more resources and as a result he is very likely to keep comparing himself to others all the time. Those comparisons can fuel competitiveness and make that person addicted to winning.

The youngest child is also very competitive by nature , unless of course other environmental factors dampen his ambition. Youngest children usually develop the desire to strive to be better or to even be the best as a result of finding themselves the weakest member of the family.

A person can also become more competitive if people who mattered to him were around. If a man was near his wife during a competition then he might become more competitive as a result of wanting to avoid the shame of losing in front of her.

To sum things up

In some cases one or more reasons could be present together and as a result the person might be extremely competitive.

If a youngest child turned out to be a type A personality (type A personality is the personality type that results from the choice a person makes to deal with these insecurities rather than ignoring them) then this person might be competitive to an exaggerated extent. Now if that male also had high levels of testosterone then this could make his competitiveness ever more vigorous.

Female Competitive Fact:

Female fact that “environmental factors” (Authoritative/Child molestation/Jealousy/Deprivation etc.)  play such a role is also the reason why some females are very competitive even though they have much lower levels of testosterone than men.

In short when it comes to a trait such as competitiveness the causes behind it are much more complex than you might have thought. By understanding the person’s past, thoughts and beliefs you can easily find out the specific reasons that led to his over competitivness.


7 reasons why people dislike you for nO reason

Why do they dislike me?

Do people dislike you for no reason?
Are you wondering why some people hate you?
Do you think that something is wrong with you?

Well there is certainly something wrong.
But the good news is that nothing is wrong with you.

1. You remind them of their failures

Hatred is an emotion that the mind uses to keep a person safe by keeping him away from people who might harm him. If you are successful at anything then some people might feel like losers when they see you and as a result hatred kicks in to protect them. In other words you might be hated because you are really good.

2. You remind them of what they lack

All humans want to be the best among their friends but psychologically unstable ones will hate those who are better than them at anything. You get better grades? You have more friends? You look a bit better? You have a better body? You have a better job? Then you might be hated for that.

3. You Remind them of their horrible past

In the book “The psychology of physical attraction”, explained how the associations we form can force us to judge people on the first meeting. If you reminded a person of someone who was mean to him then you might be hated. The problem here is with that person’s past & not with you.

4. Because they feel worthless

Brave people set goals and achieve them. Cowards run away from big goals then seek cheap victories to feel good about themselves. Some examples of cheap victories are gossiping, putting someone down or bullying someone. All of these actions help a person who already feels worthless to feel a bit better.

5. You remind them of themselves

One of the best defense mechanisms the mind uses to help people deny their personal flaws is to blame someone else for them. In my article Why do people criticize others i explained how people project their own flaws on others to convince themselves that they are flawless.

6. They don’t feel safe around you

People dislike the ones they don’t feel safe around. Those who suffer from anxiety or those who are too afraid to mingle with new people might dislike strangers just because they don’t feel safe around them. They prefer a small circle of friends that gives them the safety they need.

7. They think you are a threat

Sometimes a person might dislike you because he thinks that you are a threat. Cowards and weak people automatically dislike anybody who might threaten their position ( Steal their friends, get a share of the attention they are getting, get the job they are applying for …etc)

What you should do

You should only stick to the people who truly love you instead of wasting your effort trying to win the approval of those who don’t. In order not to feel lonely you need few close friends who really like you and not tens of friends who barely like you.

Finally no one is perfect. Yes you might have some flaws but in many cases people will dislike you because something is wrong with them and not with you.

Can we change our personality?

Our personality was learned as a result of the experiences you have been through. Whatever unwanted behavior you don’t like now might be nothing more than a coping strategy your mind developed to help you achieve a certain goal.

Just like this coping strategy was developed it can also be unlearned. Of course it takes some time and a lot of persistence to change your personality but the good news is that you are able to change it.

Personality is to overcome things, learn from them and become stronger, both personally and professionally. To be honest, I welcome those hardships.

1. Online Personality test myth :  It happens often that someone searches for an online personality test then ends up frusted of thinking that the quiz results are facts that can’t be changed.

In fact you can change your personality if you wanted to provided that you know the right way to do it.

2. Genes affect personality myth : I found many  people who wonder whether they can build self confidence or not because of believing that self confidence and similar good traits has something to do with their genes. This belief that states that a person is stuck because of his genes doesn’t only prevent him from growing but it also prevents him from developing essential life skills that are vital to building his self confidence.

The second very important fact is that the presence of one gene can limit the function of another gene completely even if those genes were not related at all. This means that even if you have a certain gene you might not be affected by it at all because another gene is limiting its effect.

The conclusion was can make is that looking at only one gene and believing that you are stuck because of it is a big mistake.

In short, yes personality can be changed.

To be able to change your personality you must understand it

Most people think that they understand themselves well while in fact many of the personality change attempts fail as a result of lack of self understanding.

A behavior that has been bothering you for years can be changed if you understood what’s causing the behavior in the first place.

Lets take the example of the a girl who wears high heels in order to feel beautiful. Of course when you ask her why she only wears high heels, she will never tell you “I look taller and beautiful” because most probably she won’t be aware of the fact that beauty encompasses beyond wearing high heels.

Now if that she tried hard to change her  behavior using all possible methods she might never succeed until she finds another way to help herself satisfy the need to feel like a beautiful girl.

In short,Our attempts to change our personalities will not work before we understand the underlying dynamics behind our behaviors and attitudes.

Next : How to change your personality?


Addiction of “bad news” and it’s negative effects on mind

People who are continuously struggling to pursue a Positive Mindset, one of the way is to abstain from all the “bad news”.

Unlike reading books and long magazine articles (which require thinking), we can swallow limitless quantities of news flashes, which are bright-coloured candies for the mind.

There are a lot of bad things that happen in the world, and it is probably right that people should know about these things through their reporting in news bulletins. These ‘bad things’ include crime, famine, war, violence, political unrest, and injustice, to name but a few. But there is also an increasing tendency for news broadcasters to ‘emotionalize’ their news and to do so by emphasizing any potential negative outcomes of a story no matter how low the risks of those negative outcomes might be.

Wars, murders, and politics all add baggage to our thoughts.

24-hour news cycle, alerts of shootings, plane crashes, ISIS beheadings, crime, war and human rights violations are constant — and this incessant news of violence and destruction may be messing with our heads.

The “Media competition means that journalists and editors have incentives to use emotionally powerful visuals and story lines to gain and maintain ever-shrinking news audiences.”

It makes sense that most of the mainstream media focuses on bad news, though, because tragedy sells. It doesn’t make sense for us to sit around stewing over this bad news. It’s certainly not going to allow for an optimal mindset, one that’s focused on the best that life has to offer.

By tuning into the news about a plane crash thousands of miles away, we’re putting our mental energy into something that won’t help. We can’t change the bad things happening at any given moment, but if we put our attention into things we can change, our lives will improve.

Some research has even suggested that viewing traumatic images in the media can cause (post-traumatic stress disorder) PTSD-like symptoms. A 2001 study found that watching the events of 9/11 on television was enough to trigger PTSD symptoms — such as worrying about future terrorist attacks and reduced self-confidence — in some viewers. Severity of symptoms, interestingly, was directly correlated with the amount of time the subjects spent watching television.

On the day when you’re tired of life.

She is tired of running after making money, he is tired of running after relationships, tired of running after competitions and then fell down and realised that they couldn’t go on any more. Seen and bearing an overwhelming burden of troubles and responsibility. They have already seen it all, can do it all and want nothing except to rest in peace.

And then they suddenly start to see life in a different way. It often happens against a background of too much work, of feeling completely run-down and experiencing ridiculous levels of stress. When you’ve ended up in a hospital, you end up understand a thing or two about life.

Tired people, bit by bit, are the ones who manage to change everything, and change themselves. They learn to live again, managing to subjugate their circumstances to themselves, their own needs and requirements, their desires, and their biological clock. They take full control of their life by not trusting the moods and decisions of their employers. They they take up watercolour painting and read lots of books; they learn to cook; they go for walks in a park and play with their kids. They learn how to just breathe again, having understood that having enough money for just one handbag, as it turns out, is quite enough.

They learn to live here and now, enjoying every minute.

This is why for quite a long time already we’ve had such terms as ’downshifting’ and anti-consumerist societies; this is why freelancing and spending winters in huts in India is so popular.

Shallow Success

Success. This definition of it, the whole idea of it, is arguably one of the biggest lies we ever get told in our lives.

None of this stuff is important.

But the only people who can realise it are the people who are deeply tired of life, for whom nothing matters as much as peace of mind. The chance to not have to run anywhere, not to prove anything to anybody. To live, rather than just survive till the end.

Avoid the “I Just Need To Work Harder” Trap

If you tend to react to stress, struggling, or exhaustion by attempting to just work harder, try slowing down instead.

As above, you’re likely already trying your best. Telling yourself that the answer to solving your problems is just working harder isn’t likely to be an accurate thought.

The trap here is that by telling yourself the problem is not working hard enough, you’re likely to close yourself off to trying new ways of coping. An example I see in my practice all the time is people who respond to overeating by telling themselves they just need to try harder to stick to their diet next time. By attributing the problem to not trying hard enough, they try to solve it throughwillpower rather than seeking other strategies.



Sadhguru on Antibiotic

After watching “Global antibiotics ‘revolution’ needed” on BBC just an hour ago made me realise “How much ever antimicrobial resistance revolution will be there,  the bacteria will try to come back with more strength. Isn’t it thought provoking news “Superbugs, resistant to antimicrobials, are estimated to account for 700,000 deaths each year. But modelling up to the year 2050, by Rand Europe and auditors KPMG, suggests 10 million people could die each year – equivalent to one every three seconds.” And,  you know who is saying that, “the second largest industry on earth Medicine

It’s a scary movie cliché – the good guy does everything he can to kill the bad guy, and no matter what he tries, the bad guy just keeps getting back up, bloody and mangled, but still alive somehow. Eventually, the hero deals one final blow, and the evildoer dies.

Health care is a lot like these scary movies. Doctors fight the villains – let’s say bacteria – with all the tools they have – in our case, a slew of antibiotics. The bacteria fight to live, but eventually the antibiotics prove too powerful. The bacteria and the resulting infection die, and we live. Yay for modern medicine!

But you know how where there’s a bad guy, there’s always a sequel in the making where he’s not really dead? In the health care world, we’re moving rapidly toward that same scenario. The bugs that are infecting us are transforming into superbugs, impervious to all known antibiotics. Health care leaders across the globe are warning that many of the bacteria that harm us are growing resistant to the drugs we’ve been using to combat them.