Lost

Life is painful and messed up. Being alone with my own feelings, feelings who are dancing in mind.  It gets complicated at the worst of times, and sometimes you have no idea where to go or what to do. Lots of times people just let themselves get lost, dropping into a wide open, huge abyss. We have to push through all that hurts us, work past all our memories that are haunting us. And that’s why I tell everyone that, even when it hurts, never stop yourself from living.

There was a time, I wanted to disappear. To get so lost that nobody ever found me. To go so far away that I’d never be able to make my way home again. But I have no idea why.

The answer is within me. Most of my life was in autopilot control. When I start taking control of my life for long periods, I feel like imprisoned in my own home. All I need is have a passion!

 

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The Blind Football Academy will be inaugurated on 15th September, 2017 in Kochi, Kerala.

Good News

Under an initiative of the Indian Blind Federation (IBFF) with Society for Rehabilitation of Visually Challenged (SRVC)’s support, seven blind footballers will be imparted training in the sport, and vocational skills in an academy set up in Kochi, starting September.

IBFF Sporting Director Sunil J Mathew, who is spearheading this project.

The Blind Football Academy will be inaugurated on 15th September, 2017 in Kochi, Kerala.

Restlessness

Restlessness – that suffering from everday lethal

I feel like “something more” to do with my careers and my  life. These constant fear makes me a little sad and maybe resentful. Is this you too?

The restlessness, shallowness, sadness and resentment can’t be blamed on someone else, friends, family or any unwelcomed situations. You feel these emotions because your choices have left you disconnected with yourself. Making life choices based on what eases your fears instead of what fulfils you is an act of self-denial. You miss your passionate, joyful, grateful self.

Our minds are filled with the vast possibilities the world has to offer, and technology makes us feel that all these possibilities are just within our reach. But the realities of our lives really haven’t changed much. Many aspects of our lives have sped up and become easier, but lots of things haven’t. We can instantly chat with our friend in South Africa, but we’re no closer to instantly teleporting there. Tons of information is available on the web but it still takes just as long as it ever did to read and absorb it. We still need to get jobs and pay rent and work at our relationships.

Cure:

#Expectations (Being real): Every man must have lofty aims and ambitions. But he must temper his expectations with a dose of reality. Not all of us are going to be rich and famous. We need to honestly assess what we’re really capable of.

#Too many informations : Restlessness is an indication that your brain is on an over-drive, in that it has gained a lot of undue momentum. Sometimes I actually don’t like browsing a bookstore because there are so many books, and I can get to feeling overwhelmed by it. That goes with internet informations, too many endorsements etc.

#Small Steps : Once you understand what can do and what you want do, you can start taking steps toward those things. You have to just choose one thing at a time to tackle. Making small, steady victories will cure your restlessness. Your mind simply wants to feel as if you are moving forward. So make that first step.

#Avoiding Deluded Ideas: You can see restless behavior in people who are holding on to deluded ideas about life, where they are waiting for that perfect “something” to happen which they think will complete them. Honestly,  there no such “perfect time or thing”. We might had many moments in recent past, for which we forgot to count the blessings!

Other strategies to try include:

  • Mantra Meditation : Mantra meditation is a useful tool for reducing stressful thoughts and controlling breathing. Placing yourself in that type of relaxed environment can have a powerful effect on anxiety.
  • Yelling : Sometimes, all you need is a good yell. If no one is around you and you’re in a place where no one will hear you, try yelling as loud as you can. Loud yelling releases some of that pent up energy.
  • Laughing : Finally, if you can find anything to make you laugh, that can be a big help. Laughter can be very difficult when you’re suffering with agitation, but if there is anything in your life that consistently makes you laugh, focus on it. Laughter, like yelling, reduces some of that nervous energy and puts your mind on something much more positive.
  • Being Creative : Being creative is a beautiful way to express ourselves positively, paving the way to expressing ourselves to the world in a positive way, making positive changes in our own lives effects actions we bring out to the world.

Refuse to be Stagnant

The point is to keep trying new things, meeting new people, visiting new places. Once you settle into a rut, no matter how fun that rut may seem, you stagnate. You might as well be dead.

The poor man retains the prejudices of his forefathers without their faith, and their ignorance without their virtues; he has adopted the doctrine of self-interest as the rule of his actions, without understanding the science which puts it to use; and his selfishness is no less blind than was formerly his devotedness to others. If society is tranquil, it is not because it is conscious of its strength and its well-being, but because it fears its weakness and its infirmities; a single effort may cost it its life. Everybody feels the evil, but no one has courage or energy enough to seek the cure. The desires, the repinings, the sorrows, and the joys of the present time lead to no visible or permanent result, like the passions of old men, which terminate in impotence.

Entire careers, entire life paths, are carved out by people dipping their baby toes into small ponds and suddenly discovering a love for something they had no idea would capture their imaginations. In my situation I have cracked MBA entrance,  then there for many years as a HR which couldn’t feed my craving spiritualism or creativity. At some point of my life, I found myself stucked in some area – morally, intellectually, physically, spiritually, creatively. The term creativity itself a spirituality (which is a different topic to discuss next). I tried writing on spiritual journals to motivational speech to Yoga teaching to Story telling and finally making films. My present career status is : I AM A DOER. I am freelancer, an tiny winny entrepreneur, a writer, yoga and motivational speaker and a filmmaker. May be few years later I would like to try something new again. I will keep evolving. And this is how I literally live everyday.  But this journey which was not so easy, not so easy to survive in this materialistic world, sometimes not even rational too. I  Life is dynamic. It is not static. All living things are either growing and increasing toward maturity, or deteriorating toward decay and death. So how about you — are you growing?

How do I know that I am in a Stagnation. These are the most significant signs :

  • If you have been experiencing chronic procrastination on your goals
  • If you don’t ever feel like doing anything
  • If you keep turning to sleep, eating, games, mindless activities and entertainment for comfort
  • If you know you should be doing something, but yet you keep avoiding it
  • If you have not achieved anything new or significant now relative to 1 month, 2 months or 3 months ago
  • If you have a deep sense of feeling that you are living under your potential

Dr. Chanter, in his brilliant History of Human Thought in the Twentieth Century, has made the suggestion that only a very small proportion of people are capable of acquiring new ideas of political or social behaviour after they are twenty-five years old. On the other hand, few people become directive in these matters until they are between forty and fifty. Then they prevail for twenty years or more. The conduct of public affairs therefore is necessarily twenty years or more behind the living thought of the times. This is what Dr. Chanter calls the “delayed
realisation of ideas.

In summary, here’s a list of things I try to remind myself whenever I’m faced with trying something new:

  1. Trying something new often requires courage. And needing to summon courage is itself a benefit. Once it’s released it will, like its second cousin once removed, anger, indiscriminately engulf everything in its path. How wonderful to open a flood of courage and be carried on its waves to destinations of unexpected benefit.
  2. Trying something new opens up the possibility for you to enjoy something new. Entire careers, entire life paths, are carved out by people dipping their baby toes into small ponds and suddenly discovering a love for something they had no idea would capture their imaginations.
  3. Trying something new keeps you from becoming bored. Even I, the most routine-loving person I know, become bored if I’m not continually challenged in some way. And it’s not the new challenges I’m eager to take on that represent my greatest opportunities for growth—it’s the ones I’m not.
  4. Trying something new forces you to grow. We don’t ever grow from taking action we’ve always taken (the growth that enabled us to be able to take it has already occurred). Growth seems to require we take new action first, whether it’s adopting a new attitude or a new way of thinking, or literally  taking new action. Thrusting yourself into new situations and leaving yourself there alone, so to speak, often forces beneficial change. A spirit of constant self-challenge keeps you humble and open to new ideas that very well may be better than the ones you currently hold dear (this happens to me all the time).

A TypeWriter -By Keya Dutta

Two years of marriage,  many changes in Niraj’s behaviour punched the clock. He is highly ambitious of wealth, pompous, opulent to compete with the comrades. Niraj has been working as a finance consultant holding many rewards & awards, certificate from top business school. While, Adhira, only kept following her passion as a writer, despite a her higher degree and good job experience in a reputed farm.

She knew it would had to happen someday! A mere divorce paper couldn’t able to tremble her firm mind. She signed the divorce paper with just a thought that how her creativity once been admired and love by Niraj, today, it became an encumbrance. She had to choose between a facile, flaky, superficial relationship and a typewriter. And, she choosed the later.

7 months ago :

“You are such a grandmother!”, Niraj was satirical.

Adhira was still observing every movements of him, while she was still typing. She started writing another book lately in the last month. Her other books were always been uncanny and astounding, still not been recognised by big publishers due to her inconspicuous name. But, she is ridiculously passionate about story telling and those who knew her writing for a decade, await for a another queer.

“Well, haven’t you heard the saying, there’s no place like home except Grandma’s?”, Adhira replied in a light hearted way. She smiled.

“You know what is your problem Adhira?  You live in dreams, in a shell, impractical, dumb, irrational! Your degrees, your job experience could helped us living a better lifestyle. You rejected the best opportunity to be in a top position of learning and development. But, you and your never ending write ups, that too also writing in this tortuous, damn old typewriter. Who else in this generation of e-book, writes up in typewriter like a sloth? Don’t you think we could have afforded more luxuries than this?”, Niraj was highly hostile.

“Don’t you think it’s luxurious itself, when you do the things that you love?”, Adhira looked for an answer.

“This is not just about you and your crazy dreams”, Niraj was croaky.

She was aphonic for a moment.

“That why I am different, am I not?”, Adhira replied again with a smile. “Three years ago, these were the qualities for which you adored me to be into this marriage.”

“That was a different from now. I had a good support of my family. Today,  I could be the director of my Dad’s oil and lubricant farm.” Niraj’s juvenile was uncovered clearly.  Finally he announced about the divorce he wanted from her.

3 years ago :

He fell in love with Adhira on their first meeting at a mountain trekking camp at Solan valley. Her simplicity and concordance drawn him towards her. Her observant mind, capturing every tiny particles, which would have been ignored by any other normal person made her most unique amongst the group.

“Many secreats are tresureed in your diary, isn’t it?”, Adhira was appalled by Niraj’s voice from the back.

“Every twist has it’s greatest secreat. Don’t you have any twists in your life yet not twisted? Well, I am sure you have many twists and turns in your body.”, and both of them laughed at their own jest.

After several months of their courtship,  Niraj finally proposed her to marry him. The marriage was followed by simple ceremony in the presence of both of theirs friends, as Niraj’s parent’s were against this marriage because of Ahira’s identity crisis; being from a broken family.

15 years later :

Adhira Goswami is at her 50’s. Wrinkles around her face and neck, losing her eyesight gradually, bit shaky while writing on her typewriter. But, still not shaky of her passion, for which she lived in 15 years of isolation without grumbling. Neighbours call her crazy old typewriter lady. Kids from the nearby apartment knocks at her door and disappear to tease her, to annoy her. Old Adhira pretented to be annoyed by the kids and shouts, “hey you, all monkeys”. They giggle and do the act repeatedly. Secreatly,  she enjoys this activities by the kids. At least by doing this,  she finds some companies from the children. She deliberately keeps the door open for sometime and few kids enter into her room and touch her clothes, sit in the half torned out sofa, touch the books around the room and giggle. She pretends as if she is not aware of it and suddenly comes in front of them and they run away immediately. This became a daily fun for both the kids and Adhira. Only time she gets seriously annoyed was, when they try to touch her typewriter. She immediately closes the door if they try to touch it. She has been protecting this typewriter, for more than 30 years now.

Sometimes,  she makes the newspaper delivery boy Zafar, to sit for a while,  makes tea for him and asks about his studies. Whenever he comes with a news of her article publishing in the newspaper,  she makes special feast for him. Sometimes,  pudding, or cake, or kheer, or gajar halwa. Zafar, a calm boy, in his 7th standard, belongs to a poor Muslim family who is very fond of Adhira Goswami Aunty, not just because of her pudding and cake but also they have the similiar passion for writing. Zafar often comes to study at her place after his school.

Few months later :

A knock at the door in the early hour of morning. Adhira was little surprised. Thought, how come the kids came to bully her at the dawn!

“Oh Zafar! What happened?”,  Zafar was with a man, must be around 40 yeas of age.

“Mrs. Adhira Goswami! My name is Anirban Dè! I came to know from Zafar about your writing. I am in a search of rare typewriting literature from India, which is for collection of “Literature of Innocence and Experience” in Stockholm library of manuscripts and illustrations. Would you mind….”, before Mr. Anirban Dè finishes,  Adhira tells both of them to sit and make themselves comfortable.

She makes tea for all of them. In the meantime,  Anirban comes near her writing area,  the space full of her thousands of writings. It is flurry! He is in shock.

“How could a woman dedicated her whole life in her writing and protected her typewriter like her own child? And, how could people abandoned her for following her passion?

“You have to keep your passport ready to travel to Stockholm library soon ma’am! Thank you Zafar!”, Anirban stands still for while, with a intensed face.

“Well Zafar will follow the same passion after me. Never lose the hope my boy! Your passion may be your luxury itself. And, after me, you will take care of the typewriter, Zafar!”,  both Zafar and Anirban kept looking her poised and calm pains pouring through the teapot.

Today,  Adhira Goswami’s writings are considered one amongst the rare collections of typewriting books and manuscripts worldwide as an Indian author. Zafar, still visits her old room which has still the same fresh smells of the papers, ink refills and echoes of the typewriter.