Sex without love

“It’s like fast food…Satisfies a craving, but doesn’t nourish”

An old Irish proverb says it all~
“Sex with love is one of the finest and truly great experiences in life.”

It may be  thrilling, explorative, and physical.
But there is no deep spiritual soul-connecting thing underneath.

Is it Healthy? 

Not everyone can adopt this point of view— particularly women. When the mind connects sex with intimacy and emotions, it becomes very hard to separate. If a person does not find sex without love fulfilling or gratifying, then it’s better to abstain from such relationships.

It’s not healthy to use sex for means other than physical gratification, like the expectation that it will blossom into love. Sex should likewise not be used for attention or as leverage in a relationship to gain something else.

If people use sex as a form of escapism, it’s no different than being addicted to other behaviors(Rape/Child sexual abuse/manipulation/Prostitution).

Using sex to avoid dealing with pain or loneliness can only bring on more of the same.

Basically, if purely sexual relationships are not personally satisfying, then it’s not healthy for you to engage in these types of relationships.

Is it Optimal?

Sex without love seems to be connected to the physical world alone, which is only a small part of what is available to us. Sex with love is experienced at the core of people, where their innate health resides – apart from the personal thoughts, insecurities and beliefs, we are all so capable of, which will only cover up, but can never obliterate our healthy core. Like the sun behind clouds – it’s always there, it just gets covered up at times; but it’s only temporary.

The hope is that those who have experienced sex with love will provide examples for those who have not. It seems to me that the more people in touch with their spiritual essence, the better the world will be.

If you’re trying to figure out what kind of person you are when it comes to sex, then here are some questions you should start asking yourself.

Q. How were you raised?

Q. What is your religious or spiritual belief?

Q. How do feel after an one night stand?  Empty?

Q. What are your ratio of sex to love?

Q. Can you be in love without sex?

Q. Do you think it’s worth?

Q. How monogamous you are?

 

 

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3 core practices for Benefit Individual’s “Very Happy ” State and Psychological Well-Being

**I am not preaching or trying to be a Guru of confusing philosophies. I write what I go through everyday life **
According to researchers, good relationships are the single-most important factor in determining whether people would describe themselves as “very happy.”

Happy people are healthy people. Happy people live longer and enjoy a greater quality of life. They function at a higher level, utilizing their personal strengths, skills, and abilities to contribute to their own well-being as well as that of others and society. They are more likely to be compassionate and, therefore, to contribute to the moral fiber of society in diversely beneficial ways. They are less prone to experience depression and, if they do, tend to manage it better and more quickly. They are less likely to experience anxiety, stress, or anger. As a result, happy people engage in fewer acts of violence or antisocial behaviors. They enjoy stronger and more-lasting relationships, thus facilitating society’s social capital. In all, they contribute to society in economic, social, moral, spiritual, and psychological terms. Compared to unhappy or depressed people, the happier ones are less of a burden to health services, social welfare agencies, or police and justice systems and so are less of a burden to the economy. In other words, building greater levels of individual happiness not only benefits a particular person but also leads to the healthy, happy functioning of society as a whole.

Fortunately, in the last decade or so, burgeoning research in the field of positive psychology has taught us much about the state of happiness. Most research prior to this, at least in the Western world, had focused on psychological abnormalities, dysfunction, and idiosyncrasies—despite happiness being the next most important life goal for most people once our physical needs for food, shelter, and health have been met. So what have we learned from this research?

1. Relationships

First, as a contributor to happiness, research shows that relationships top the scale. Researchers in one study asked, What contributes to the top ten percent of happy people being happy? What are the keys to happiness for these “very happy” people? The answer was clear: the single-most important variable was that “very happy” people had good social relationships with other people. Other research supports this, claiming that “relationships are an important, and perhaps the most important, source of life satisfaction and emotional well-being.”

Spirituality comes in second on the list of what contributes most to

happiness. Researchers have found that spirituality is clearly linked with

higher levels of subjective well-being and higher satisfaction with both

life and marriage.

2. Spirituality

Second on the list of what most contributes to happiness is a sense of spirituality. In fact, a sense of spirituality strongly correlates to a life well-lived. This relationship between happiness and taking a “big picture” view of life is born out in research across gender, age, religion, and nationality. Spiritual strivings are clearly linked with higher levels of subjective well-being, particularly in regard to greater positive affect and higher satisfaction with both life and marriage. Numerous researchers have found that those of us with strong spiritual beliefs are happier and better protected against depression than those who have no particular sense of spirituality. Similarly it seems that people cope better with major adversity in their lives and major physical illness if they have a sense of established spirituality.

3. Strengths

In another area, researchers have found that when we use our strengths, skills, resources, and abilities, we feel in touch with our “true selves”—we experience a sense of energy and function at optimal levels. The acknowledgment and use of one’s strengths are a significant predictor of both psychological and subjective well-being, which in turn contributes to the optimal functioning of society. One study of positive psychotherapy conducted in a clinically depressed population found that identifying one’s signature strengths and finding ways to use them led to clinically significant and sustained decreases in depression.

 

Changing negative core beliefs

Inner Engineering

People carry negative beliefs about themselves and they also don’t succeed in life for the same reason.

This is how to change negative core beliefs

Before you can know how negative core beliefs are changed you first need to know few things about the inner works of your mind.

If you believed that you have a certain bad personality trait (like for example thinking that you are boring) then certainly you will keep encountering evidence that supports your negative belief not because there are real life evidences but because people give different interpretations to events according to their own belief system.

A person who believes that he is boring will associate all the rejections he gets with the belief of being boring . Now if something happened that made this person think, even for few moments, that he is not boring then he will quickly recall all of the events he interpreted incorrectly and he will give them different meanings.

If after some time another thing happened that forced that person to think that he is boring once again then he will recall all of these events once again and give them the old meanings he initially gave them.

So how can core negative beliefs can be changed?

In the Inner Engineering program, You first need to believe that you are not boring and as a result you will change the structure of your own memories to prove your new belief true.

I am not a supporter of the “think positively and wait for the magic” school simply because it never works. In order to believe that you are not boring you need to do something that proves to your subconscious mind that you are really not boring.

Once you can prove this fact to yourself your core negative belief will be changed and all the memories associated with it will be given different meanings.

In short here is what you need to do to change a negative core belief:

  • 1) Impress yourself: Do something that makes your subconscious mind believe that you are really good or in other words impress yourself
  • 2) Changing old memories: Once you do the previous step you must then move on to changing the old memories you had by giving them different meanings other than the ones you initially gave them
  • 3) Wait: Once you do the previous 2 steps your mind will work on weakening your negative core beliefs and it will help you acquire new positive ones

Why do some people change their mind so Fast

What happened! I was happy moments ago

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You were feeling good or at least not feeling bad then suddenly and without prior notices your mood changed completely. Did that ever happen to you?

Those kinds of mood swings are so common that its impossible for a normal human being not to experience them. For the first instance those mood swings might seem like a mysterious event because they can’t be explained but when you learn how to analyze what’s going on you will no wonder. If you  consciously monitor the thoughts that fly in your mind for they can provide a clue on most of the emotional changes you experience.

 

why do my emotions change so fast

There are three main factors that interact together to change your mood at any given time, here they are:

  • 1) External data: You were on your way home feeling good then suddenly saw something that reminded you of the 50,000 INR you have to pay in a week and so you felt a bit worse. Each day you receive millions of bits of information through your different senses. Some of these bits can’t just spoil your day but they can make you feel horrible if you didn’t interpret them correctly and this takes us to the next point
  • 2) The meaning you give to the data: If in the previous example you said to yourself something like “I will invest those 50000 INR  and get 70,000 INR in return few month later” then this piece of information won’t make you feel bad but on the contrary it will make you feel better. In other words, what’s more important than the data you are receiving is the meaning you give to it
  • 3) Thoughts that come from within: Sometimes a flying thought just passes by into your head even if nothing in the external world reminded you of it. Those are sometimes called automatic negative thoughts. Such negative thoughts come from within because of the existence of negative beliefs. Just like rotten food emits a bad smell your negative beliefs result in so many negative thoughts

How can these mood swings be stopped?

Just as you saw a combination of those 3 factors can change your mood from total happiness to extreme sadness in just few minutes. In order to prevent those factors from ruining your mood you must stick to the following tips whenever possible:

  • 1) Learn to think consciously: Many of the negative thoughts visit you while you are consciously focused on something else. In other words, in so many cases you might not even notice the thought that triggered the mood change and thus end up feeling bad without knowing why. The first step in preventing those mood changes is to keep an eye on the thoughts that pass through your mind
  • 2) How to handle a negative thought: Once you get a negative thought and become aware of it you need to handle it properly because if you didn’t it will be added to the pile of negative thoughts and ruin your mood. The best way to handle those thoughts is to write them down then consciously think of possible ways of ending the problems causing them. Lets suppose you felt bad because you discovered that you have gained weight recently. In such a way unless you take a vow to exercise or reduce your food intake then your mood will change to the worse
  • 3) Get rid of the negative beliefs: The presence of one negative belief can release hundreds of negative thoughts per day! Now how many negative beliefs do you have? Did you try to deal with them? Do you have a plan to change them? Even if the external environment didn’t send you unpleasant reminders your negative beliefs can still ruin your mood as a result of the negative thoughts they emit