Jealousy – A new way of self destruction!
Why do people become jealous?
One of the things few people know about is that jealousy is one of the most dangerous emotions people can experience if not the most dangerous one.
Jealousy is one of those demons that just seems to take everything over when it is felt – even when you know on the inside that your jealousy doesn’t make sense somehow, it often still rips through and takes you hostage. Many people even go so far as to call jealousy an innate emotion, as though, no matter what, we will always feel some jealousy sometimes, and there’s nothing we can do to help that.
Some people even think jealousy is a healthy thing, because it means that you care. You know that you are in love, it is said, when you feel tremendous pangs of jealousy about that special love that you share being shared with somebody else. Without jealousy and other associated negative involuntary emotions, the relationship might as well end, it is said, because then you have no more passionate divine spark. If you don’t ever get jealous, it must mean that you can turn your emotions on and off at a whim, and thus no more organic drive exists to feel.
why do people become jealous?:
- Perceived competition:
- If someone doesn’t care about wrestling then he might not pay any attention to you if you became a wrestling champion but if he cares about finding a good job then there is a big possibility that he will experience jealousy if he saw you landing a good job. So mainly jealousy happens where there is perceived competition.
- Being unsure of his skills: It is said that If a person was 100% sure that he can do that same thing you did then he will never feel jealous, however, if he had some doubts then he might feel jealous. The intensity of jealousy will depend upon the intensity of these self doubts
- Being in need: If someone needs money the most then he will certainly feel jealous upon finding you financially successful, on the other hand, a rich person might feel jealous of a financially successful person but his jealousy won’t be that intense compared to a person who is really in need of money
I want to correct some assumptions here – because it is obvious, if you look around you enough, that there are people who do not ever really feel jealousy. I am one of them. Such people do not have shallower emotions; rather, they have an inbuilt understanding that channels negative emotions away from feelings of jealousy. This holds a lot of hope for those other folks who tend to become prisoner to jealousy’s grip: it’s not an inevitable process.
Root causes behind jealousy:
- Jealousy root cause #1:Lack of self confidence: The main cause for feelings of jealousy are your doubts about your abilities or skills. If you were one hundred percent sure of yourself you would have never suffered from any jealousy feelings
- Jealousy root cause #2: Poor self image : Having a poor self image is another cause of jealousy. If you believe that you look ugly or that you are not that handsome then chances are you’ll be experiencing feeling of jealousy whenever you meet someone who looks better than you
- Jealousy root cause #3: Fear : One of the root causes behind jealousy is being afraid. This fear can be a fear of ending up alone, a fear of being rejected or a fear of losing the love of your partner.
How to handle with Haters and and Jealous People:
- Never take it personally: Know that when a person is jealous with you, it’s nothing to do with you. Basically, it’s his own lack of confidence.
- Ignore people’s jealousy and hateful comment: pay no heed to comments from jealous people tells them you are not going to validate their feelings.
- Be humble: While people can become jealous of a humble person still the jealousy would be much less intense than if the person was arrogant.
- Reduce your negative interactions with the person: If you can change your environment or social dynamics it will reduce the jealous person’s ability to influence you.
- Hang out with people who support you, people who are positive, so the hater is less likely to confront you when you’re with a group.
- When you see the jealous person, initiate first to speak with a polite greeting then move on.
- Do not appear swank: At least in front of those who are in need the most. If a friend didn’t find a job and is in a bad need for money then you shouldn’t mention your financial success in front of him at all
- Offer help: Certainly helping someone who is in need will reduce jealousy and in many cases eliminate it. Help people who are in need and you will reduce their jealousy.
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